By: Jo Anne @MzFilterless
It always did amaze me how the simple act of flirting, which usually starts a relationship, could just as easily end one. But does it have to? Like anything else in this world, even the act of flirting could maintain the balance of any relationship if used correctly. Flirting is an act of our human nature and under normal circumstances, occurs subconsciously. (LADIES, I repeat self-consciously!!!! Our men know not what they do lol)
Our eyes see something which attracts us, leaving our mind and body language to react accordingly. Such a simple act could hold the power to alter even our most vial mood, if we allow it to. Take yourself out of the relationship for a moment. You are now a single entity, waiting on line at the supermarket thinking about the days events thus far. Today, your hair didn't come out as sleek as usual, you're not too thrilled about the outfit you have on and/or you're just having one of those days where without warrant, you just don't feel beautiful. Now, despite the reason, the stranger standing behind you strikes up a conversation and happens to mention what beautiful eyes you have. Suddenly, you don't seem to notice what outfit you are wearing, your frizzy hair doesn't seem to matter as much and you find yourself standing on the same line with a smile. Compliments are a form of flirting. Flirting can only cause as much damage as you allow it. Now granted, not everyone has the same intentions when they flirt. However if you are in a relationship, a line of trust should have already been established. The world is not going to stop being attractive just because you are now in a relationship. Your partner is not going to be the only person that you are attracted to. Though they do remain the reason that you now have to balance your human nature and your self control. I've learned that despite how great it would be in a perfect world, in the realm of reality which we live in, it is utterly impossible for one person to be everything another needs. We need to embrace the power of flirting with others without abusing it. Flirting is not just an act for the single population. If you awoke on that same day as a married woman laying next to your husband who, like any man, is not as in touch with his emotions as you are. Maybe he doesn't verbally express to you how beautiful he thinks you are, as often as you woudl like to hear it. That doesn't mean he doesn't believe you are beautiful, but it doesn't make you feel any more secure at the same time. Now you're off to the same supermarket, with the same frizzy hair and the same faded sweatsuit. The same man approaches you and throws the same compliment your way. Instead of carrying a grudge home with you that another man appreciates you more than your husband, embrace the compliment for yourself. Allow yourself to absorb the compliment and feel good about yourself because at the end of the day, your opinion of yourself warrants how everyone else sees you. Now you can go home with a confident attitude and appreciate the fact that despite how many other guys out there think you are beautiful, you are returning home to the one person who was so convinced, he made you his wife.
Everyone has their "off-days." Though, we as people, do not all need the same things in life to feel good about ourselves. Some of us find that boost of confidence in the compliments and attention from others. And some of us find that same confidence within ourselves. Who is to say one is more secure than the other? This is the beauty of a relationship. Not only are you sharing your existence with someone, you are sharing your strengths and weaknesses as well. You have to know your partner and more importantly trust them. Although flirting could be a very useful tool in keeping the balance of life, there are many different reasons why people flirt. I cannot express enough that although mainstream society has embeded in our heads that we only flirt in attempts to seduce...this is not the only reason. Again, only you know your partner. If you know that in the years you have been with them you have never known them to be a flirtatous person, and they now acquire that trait, ask yourself why. Everyone, despite age, gender, race or religion, appreciates positive recognition. Sometimes, moreso in relationships, that recognition doesnt seem to mean as much when it comes from a person who loves you unconditionally. Here is where the power of flirting can strengthen a relationship. When a stranger tells you something that your significant other has been telling you all the while, it solidifies it.
Flirting is completely harmless until jealousy and/or insecurity take over. If you know your partner is attractive, expect people to flirt with them. When an attractive person steps outside, they subconsciously keep inmind that someone throughout the day will flirt with them. It is how they chose to react to the gesture that sets the precedent. Although I have expressed the more positive outlook on flirting, never be naive. If you are with someone who you find flirts with others more than they flirt with you, address the problem maturely and act accordingly. There are too many peple out there who know they cannot handle being in a loyal relationship but feel that just because they are not physicaly cheating, they can flirt as much as they want. Trust me when I say, people like this WILL eventually lose the battle with themselves and cheat. You can't win em all! But we can beat the game by loving ourselves. No one should ever love you more than you love yourself. Confidnece in your partner, your relationship and yourself can take you a long way when it comes to embracing and recognizing the power of flirting.
It always did amaze me how the simple act of flirting, which usually starts a relationship, could just as easily end one. But does it have to? Like anything else in this world, even the act of flirting could maintain the balance of any relationship if used correctly. Flirting is an act of our human nature and under normal circumstances, occurs subconsciously. (LADIES, I repeat self-consciously!!!! Our men know not what they do lol)
Our eyes see something which attracts us, leaving our mind and body language to react accordingly. Such a simple act could hold the power to alter even our most vial mood, if we allow it to. Take yourself out of the relationship for a moment. You are now a single entity, waiting on line at the supermarket thinking about the days events thus far. Today, your hair didn't come out as sleek as usual, you're not too thrilled about the outfit you have on and/or you're just having one of those days where without warrant, you just don't feel beautiful. Now, despite the reason, the stranger standing behind you strikes up a conversation and happens to mention what beautiful eyes you have. Suddenly, you don't seem to notice what outfit you are wearing, your frizzy hair doesn't seem to matter as much and you find yourself standing on the same line with a smile. Compliments are a form of flirting. Flirting can only cause as much damage as you allow it. Now granted, not everyone has the same intentions when they flirt. However if you are in a relationship, a line of trust should have already been established. The world is not going to stop being attractive just because you are now in a relationship. Your partner is not going to be the only person that you are attracted to. Though they do remain the reason that you now have to balance your human nature and your self control. I've learned that despite how great it would be in a perfect world, in the realm of reality which we live in, it is utterly impossible for one person to be everything another needs. We need to embrace the power of flirting with others without abusing it. Flirting is not just an act for the single population. If you awoke on that same day as a married woman laying next to your husband who, like any man, is not as in touch with his emotions as you are. Maybe he doesn't verbally express to you how beautiful he thinks you are, as often as you woudl like to hear it. That doesn't mean he doesn't believe you are beautiful, but it doesn't make you feel any more secure at the same time. Now you're off to the same supermarket, with the same frizzy hair and the same faded sweatsuit. The same man approaches you and throws the same compliment your way. Instead of carrying a grudge home with you that another man appreciates you more than your husband, embrace the compliment for yourself. Allow yourself to absorb the compliment and feel good about yourself because at the end of the day, your opinion of yourself warrants how everyone else sees you. Now you can go home with a confident attitude and appreciate the fact that despite how many other guys out there think you are beautiful, you are returning home to the one person who was so convinced, he made you his wife.
Everyone has their "off-days." Though, we as people, do not all need the same things in life to feel good about ourselves. Some of us find that boost of confidence in the compliments and attention from others. And some of us find that same confidence within ourselves. Who is to say one is more secure than the other? This is the beauty of a relationship. Not only are you sharing your existence with someone, you are sharing your strengths and weaknesses as well. You have to know your partner and more importantly trust them. Although flirting could be a very useful tool in keeping the balance of life, there are many different reasons why people flirt. I cannot express enough that although mainstream society has embeded in our heads that we only flirt in attempts to seduce...this is not the only reason. Again, only you know your partner. If you know that in the years you have been with them you have never known them to be a flirtatous person, and they now acquire that trait, ask yourself why. Everyone, despite age, gender, race or religion, appreciates positive recognition. Sometimes, moreso in relationships, that recognition doesnt seem to mean as much when it comes from a person who loves you unconditionally. Here is where the power of flirting can strengthen a relationship. When a stranger tells you something that your significant other has been telling you all the while, it solidifies it.
Flirting is completely harmless until jealousy and/or insecurity take over. If you know your partner is attractive, expect people to flirt with them. When an attractive person steps outside, they subconsciously keep inmind that someone throughout the day will flirt with them. It is how they chose to react to the gesture that sets the precedent. Although I have expressed the more positive outlook on flirting, never be naive. If you are with someone who you find flirts with others more than they flirt with you, address the problem maturely and act accordingly. There are too many peple out there who know they cannot handle being in a loyal relationship but feel that just because they are not physicaly cheating, they can flirt as much as they want. Trust me when I say, people like this WILL eventually lose the battle with themselves and cheat. You can't win em all! But we can beat the game by loving ourselves. No one should ever love you more than you love yourself. Confidnece in your partner, your relationship and yourself can take you a long way when it comes to embracing and recognizing the power of flirting.
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