How does someone differentiate betwen being a loyal partner or a sucker for love? Where do we draw the line? Yes, especially in this day and age, we all have our flaws, find ourselves in hard places and/or are just struggling to get ahead. Everyone who is in a relationship knows how hard it can be to accomplish a personal goal when you're actions directly affect someone else. Here's a few situations that are common in relationships, but can be quite sticky ones if not handled correctly (or with malicious intent.)
1. The Continuously Unemployed Partner : First, ask yourself this, how long have they been without a job? We're in a recession people! Don't start questioning your spouses loyalty to you just because they haven't worked in a few months! Focus on what they are doing to find a job instead of how long they've been out of work. You always want to handle this situation with delicacy until you get your facts straight, especially when dealing with a man. Ladies, he is a MAN, and his pride AS A MAN will always be on a defense if he is not earning FOR HIMSELF! Respect that boundary, understand that this is not about YOu even though it affects you, but don't let him take advantage. Find that common understanding.
2. Too Much Freedom : It's cool to have that breathing room in your relationship; that freedom to not be anally retentive to each other's hip. But, this "privellage" is not always given before earned and can just as easily be abused. Personally, I'm old-fashion when it comes to this. It's a gender thing to me. There's certain situations us, as females in a rleationship, should never put ourselves in (despite how much freedom we are given.) Perfect examples, being at parties or clubs without our man. ACT ACCORDINGLY! Just because you're man ain't physically with you doesn't mean he doesn't exist. If you go to the club, get drunk and act a fool ... those are your actions ... be prepared to take whatever responsibility they come with it.
3. Public Communication and Image : If your relationship is anything like mine; that's my best friend. We speak to each other abruptly; no punches, no sugar coating! Straight facts, just the way I like it, even if I don't want to hear what he's saying! BUT, there is a time and a place for everything. Certain things should only be said or spoken about in private. If your partner is constantly airing out personal business in front of mixed company, you may wanna look closer into that!
4. Sharing is Caring (or in this case growing) : Not everything you do in your own life is going to involve your partner. Take a quick look at the aspects of your life that don't involve them. Are they still interested in them? These aspects are key, (in my eyes), to keeping your own identity while cultivating your life together. I call them the escapes. My main escape is my writing, his, is his Xbox; nothing to do with each other. However, it brings us closer as the "team" we are, when I play a game or two with him or he occasionally comes with me to my Poetry Slams ... what does yours do for you? Or you for yours?
I could go on forever, but the point is, human nature is a b*tch. It's very easy to mistake kindness for weakness or take advantage of the comfortability aspect of your relationship. In order to maintain and build a healthy relatinship, you first want to make sure that you have one!
Picture Source: http://www.freakygaming.com/
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