By: @MzFilterless
What happens when a relationship leaves that "hearts and flowers" stage and enters that era of comfort ability? I'll tell you what happens ... he no longer opens the door for you and you no longer "hold your tongue" when he goes out. He doesn't compliment you anymore, so you continue talking while you see he's watching the game! This is on the lighter end of the spectrum. Lately, I've found myself in almost constant conversation about relationships; long term relationships. Although everyone is so different, we're really not that far apart on the "I get fed up because ..." list.Now, you all know I'm a firm believer of "the game changes after 2 years." Why all the changes happen at the two year mark is beyond me, but it's nonetheless annoying as hell! Do we just wake up on that morning of our two year anniversary, look at our significant other and just say "I don't have to try no more, I got you already" ?!?!? Or is it really just our subconscious acting on our comfort ability?
Do you know how many times I've heard a guy say, "it's just not new and exciting no more," HORSESH*T! A relationship is and can only be what the two of you make it! One sided relationships never make it. Why? Because a relationship is with two people; equally divided. It's a bond that you share with someone. If we could all hold down relationships by ourselves, well... that's a whole different blog!
Fellas, realize that your girl/wife is a woman, and women are emotional and sensitive no matter how "hard" they come off. Despite how independent we may be, at the end of the day ... we love your attention, are flattered by your affection and are soothed for your touch. We can only initiate so much with you. It's up to you to keep the "back and forth" going. For example, if you see that your girl is trying to get your attention, give it to her. I'm not saying drop everything you are doing (although sometimes, that's all it takes to show her that she's that important to you.) But if it's not the right time, there's a way to say that to her without making her feel insignificant. It's a beautiful feeling when you're man comes right to you when he's not busy! Just remember guys, the last thing a woman wants to feel is unwanted. If you love her, don't ever let her feel like that even for a second!
Ladies, if you're not getting what you want from your man .. try giving him what you know he wants; whatever it may be. If you still don't get the attention or outcome that you were seeking, let him know. Again, there is a way to do this without transferring the negative energy that you already feel. If it still doesn't work, then maybe you need to reflect and re-evaluate.
The easiest way to start to spice up a relationship is to change the way you see your relationship. Instead of saying, "Damn, we've been together for years..." (and sigh afterwards,) try thinking of it as if, "everyday is brand new." I shouldn't have to say this, but I will for all intensive purposes. Don't think that just because you change the way you see something that you no longer have to take action! ALWAYS PUT MEANING BEHIND YOUR WORDS AND THOUGHTS!
As a couple ... experience different things together. Go out and see the world. If you're local in NY, don't even try to tell me that there's nothing to do or that you've already done everything. Every trip into the City brings a new adventure! New sidewalk events, new bums on the corner who talk to themselves, new bars or lounges opening up. And at the very least , YOU have the power to divulge in new conversation while walking through Central Park! So, I don't even wanna hear your bs excuses as to why you can't spice your relationship up.
If you can honestly tell me that you've tried everything and it still didn't work ... then I can honestly say, neither will your relationship!!! Because YOU obviously don't want to make it work. Relationships are a give and take just as much as time is money! Hmmm, think about that and get back to me.
Original (Uncensored) article on my blog
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